Dumb mistake #1:
“Hey, let’s whip the softened cream cheese! It probably won’t stick to the beaters at all!”
Dumb mistake #2:
“Now let’s add some milk and whip it again! It probably won’t splatter everywhere!”
Dumb mistake #3 (yes really):
“Maybe if I add some cocoa powder, without stirring it in at all, it won’t completely fly everywhere when I turn on the beaters!”
What do you know, WRONG!
As you can tell, I was in top baking form when I was making these.
These were originally supposed to be cheesecake Three Musketeers, but seeing as the cream cheese didn’t whip, the chocolate wouldn’t spread, and squares kept melting, I just decided to call these…
CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE ICE CREAM BARS!!!!
…because that’s what they are, really. And holy raspberries are they good, despite the number of times I goofed up while making these. They are:
- Just sweet enough
- Slightly tangy
- Dennis! (Keep scrolling, you’ll find it)
Anyways, on to the recipe!
- 1 8-oz block full fat cream cheese
- 1/4 cup milk
- 1 tbsp cocoa powder
- 1/4 cup + 1 tbsp powdered sugar (You can make your own!)
- 2 Tbsp cornstarch
- pinch stevia, to taste
- Melted semi-sweet chocolate, for dipping
Directions: In a large bowl, gently stir together the cream cheese and milk until sorta combined. Whip the mixture on medium speed until it is smooth. Stir in the cocoa powder, sugar, and cornstarch and whip on high speed until thoroughly combined. Spread the mixture into a parchment paper-lined 8×6 pan and freeze overnight. (Patience, grasshopper) When frozen throughout, cut into 20-some squares. Dip each square into your melted chocolate, or just spread the chocolate on top. Freeze until set. Makes ~20.